The Angel Side Read online

  Belonging to the choir of Seraphims, I’d never see my children, Ra, or my mother again. Only Arches, their troops, and High Knight Templars were allowed entrance to Hell. Sure, my dad would keep me posted on their progress and news, but a secondhand message would never replace seeing them grow with my own eyes.

  “And what of my family?” I inquired.

  “Well, you’ll be able to visit your children, Persephone, and Ra in a designated area when logistically feasible. Also, under the agreement John and I made, he will monitor all visits here.”

  “When logistically feasible?”

  I didn’t like the sound of Father’s answers. I didn’t want to plan visits with my family as if I were being forced to obey some ridiculous court order.

  “Yes. The designated area will need to be surveyed, and a protection detail will have to be assembled for your protection.”

  “I don’t need protection against my own family!” I shouted.

  “Etta, my dear, half-breeds can be extremely volatile and unpredictable. I mean no disrespect, but in the past their kind has been a scourge to our worlds, and I must take it into consideration. I cannot send one of my children beyond the safety of the gates with no protection.” Father chided.

  It took an immense amount of self-control on my part to hold my tongue as He spoke about my children with great disdain. No matter the case, I had to keep my calm to prove I would be no threat. Remembering what Lilith taught me, I focused on my happy place to keep from attacking Father.

  “And if I don’t use it? What then?” I asked, lowering my eyes.

  “Then you remain a Wraith. You will be under close surveillance and not be allowed in the Wastelands or the near my gates. You may visit your family in Hell, but veer from the path to their gates or cause an incident here on Earth and you will be deemed a threat. I do not believe I need to tell you what it would mean.”

  Both options came with strict guidelines putting all I loved at risk. Resentment toward Father for not trusting us swirled within, but now would not be the time to argue. If I lost my temper now, I’d face being eradicated in front of my children. If they were to ascend to the throne and bring diplomacy to our worlds, I’d have to ensure they would never have a reason to despise the Heavens or Father.

  Taking another glance at what I had to lose, I smiled as I watched Ra roll around in the grass. The kids released victorious whoops after finding and exploiting the ticklish spot on Ra’s ribs. Facing defeat, Ra called in the Calvary; Grandpa Nicor and Gabriel. The children dispersed as the men gave chase. Nicor cut Uphir off around a table, rattling its contents. After a short struggle, Nicor had Uphir dangling upside down by his ankle.

  “I got one!” Nicor shouted then proceeded to give Uphir one heck of a raspberry.

  Running after Botis, Ra stopped short to give Uphir a raspberry of his own on his belly as he hung from Nicor’s arms then resumed chasing Botis. Annahail dodged left and right around a tree as Gabriel tried keeping his footing on the slick grass.

  John and Persephone sat across from each other, laughing at the guys failed attempts to capture the kids until they too had been swept into the tickle fight. From behind me, the Arches ran to assist as Amy took temporary shelter behind her mom and dad. It didn’t take long for Gabriel to notice her hiding and give chase.

  “How can I give this up?” I asked, turning back to Father.

  “You do not have to decide now. It is your soul; take your time.” Father smiled. “Lady and gentleman, should we leave this family to their celebration?” Father asked the couple taking refuge from the chaotic horseplay by the punchbowl. With an obvious sign of relief, the Son and Spirit nodded, and then disappeared into the house.

  “Take care, my child.” Father said as he followed.

  Not wanting to miss the fun, I made a dead run for Annahail as she darted from behind a tree, escaping Raphael’s grasp. The swift little girl dodged my move toward her causing me to smack right into Ra.

  “Whoa! You look as if you need a little love from the tickle monster, too.” Ra chuckled, binding me in his arms.

  I sensed he wanted to kiss me more than tickle me, but something inside stopped him from doing so. His smile soon faded, and worry hung heavily on his features.

  “Is that what I think it is?” Ra’s breath hitched as he stared at the blue box in my hand.

  “Yes. I have to decide what to do.” I replied somberly.

  “Etta, don’t rush. Take your time. If I’ve learned anything from what we’ve been through, it is things may have been much easier had I not rushed into my decisions. I let my emotions run my life instead of thinking clearing about how my actions affected those around me. I know now. Maybe If I had taken the time to think before I acted we wouldn’t be in this position. Don’t make the mistakes I did and rush into this. Take all the time you need. As I said earlier, no matter what you decide, we will make it work.”

  I wanted to think Ra had been simply telling me what I wanted to hear, but a spark of sincerity flickered in his eyes. He had two weeks to prepare himself for possibly losing me. He had seemed to make peace with the thought I may not choose him.

  “I’m scared, Ra. I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been. What about the kids and mom and you? I don’t know what to do.”

  “Shh. Shh. Etta, don’t be scared. We’re a family. Nothing will ever take it away. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s a lot to take in right now. Why don’t you go put the box away, come enjoy the rest of today, and tomorrow we’ll sit down and discuss everything with clear heads, if you want.”

  “You’re right. I’m still a little tired and overwhelmed. I’ll be right back.” I replied as my hand slipped from his.

  As I rounded the landing to my room, I noticed dad’s office door had been left open. In the middle of the floor I saw a Cabbage Patch doll. Curious as to why a doll would be laying on the carpet, I walked into the office to find it had been remodeled into a children’s room. The walls had been painted a bright yellow with white trim. In the corner sat a bulky toy box with a large book shelf next it to filled with assorted children’s books. On the other side were three beds. Botis’s and Uphir’s beds were made with oversized monster truck comforters and matching pillows. Annahail had a beautiful pink and purple quilt my mother had made for me when I was a little girl. Above each bed their names had been painted in a beautiful script. In between the beds were two nightstands with a picture frame on each stand.

  Sitting on Annahail’s bed, I picked up the picture of Ra, René, John, and the kids baring their human illusions, distorting and pulling their faces in a silly family photo. On the other night stand, a picture of Ra and me that once sat on my nightstand. Putting the picture back, I laid down for a moment, dreaming about the possibilities being a mother held.

  If I chose to go home to Father, I would miss all the bedtime stories, all the owies, and all of their firsts. I had already lost so many of those. I would be unable to watch them grow up and become the great rulers I knew they would be. Ra, Nicor, my mom, and dad would be left to protect and raise them. They would get the joy and rewards raising children brought.

  “Hey, baby girl. Whatcha doing in here?” René said, startling me.

  “I love what you did to the room.” I replied, sitting up as she sat next to me.

  “Yeah. The kids helped. I found your old quilt in the attic and thought Annahail would like it. Hope you don’t mind.” René smiled as she clutched my hand in hers.

  “Not at all. I think it’s great.”

  “What’s wrong? You seem a bit sad.” René squeezed her arm around me.

  “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be what I am, but I don’t want to leave either.” I cried into her shoulder.

  “Hey. Hey. Relax. Baby girl, listen to me.”

  “But the kids.” I sobbed.

  “The kids are fine. They’re great, in fact. I can’t believe it myself, but Ra’s been doing an amazing job with them. He has your mother
, her boyfriend, your father, and me helping. Heck, even the Arches have been giving him a hand. They have plenty of people taking care of and looking out for them. Plus it’s not like you won’t ever see them again.” René rested her head over on mine.

  “I know. Ra seems to really be taking good care of them.” I sniffled, trying to hold back the snot building up from my blubbering.

  “More than taking care of them; he loves those kids. He’s been reading to them every night before they rest. He makes sure they brush their teeth and has even shown them a safe way of scaring the Chinese food delivery guy, so they stay charged while they’re here. They even got me a few times. But more important, he talks to them. He’s told them what is happening to you. They know you have a choice to make, and they aren’t scared or mad. They know they will have a mommy in Heaven caring for them from a distance. Annahail thinks it’s pretty cool. She thinks you’re going to have butterfly wings. Etta, if it’s your full spirit you need then choose it but don’t choose to stay because you’re feeling guilty or you’re worried about them needing you. You’ll end up hurting yourself which in turn will hurt them.” René kissed my forehead then left the room.

  Living as a Wraith would be difficult. The amount of self-control and discipline I would need to possess seemed unattainable. Every moment would be a battle not to cross Father or the Arches. Sick and tired, I wanted the security Heaven offered. I craved an easy life; one without fear or fighting. After seeing the kids running around, happy, and talking to my Rene, it appeared as Ra had thought and taken care of everything while I had been incapacitated, making my wanting to go home too easy.

  I’d be able to walk away without worry. Ra would ensure the children had everything they wanted and needed. Having lived on the Angel, Demon, and Human side, he’d be the perfect mentor to guide their upbringing. I’d be able to remain a part of their lives with visitations.

  Glancing at the picture of Ra squeezing his cheeks back and sticking out his tongue as the kids pressed their noses up into snouts with their eyes crossed, a prick stabbed my heart, telling me what I should do. Grabbing the pendant, I went outside to tell Ra my decision.

  “Guys, no pushing your sister!” in the middle of the yard, Ra bent over Annahail, dusting off her tooshy after a fall. Turning to me as I strolled over to him, Ra’s smile faded away.

  “You’ve decided,” dejected, Ra continued “That’s fine. Maybe Father will give you a job making it easy to schedule your visits. The kids will have to start some type of schooling now to prepare them for the throne. You know what a hassle it can be, but it’ll keep them busy. As long as I don’t mess with anyone and only travel between here and work, I’ll be able to get my old job back at the pizza place to help John with—”

  Placing my hand over his mouth, I cut off Ra’s babbling.

  “Ra. I choose you. I choose us. I choose this family.” I said, taking the necklace from the box and putting it around Ra’s neck.

  “Where your soul lies, so shall mine.” I repeated the vows he had once spoken to me on our wedding day over a millennium ago.

  “Really? You’re joking? No. You’re not joking. Are you sure? Etta, it’s a huge decision. One you can’t take back. Maybe you should think about it for more than an hour.” Fear and confusion contorted Ra’s gorgeous face.

  “Ra, I’ve made my choice, and its one I will never regret.”

  “This is great news. Ha-Ha. Kids! Mommy’s staying!” Ra swept me up, twirling me around as if he had just won the World Series.

  “Okay. Okay. Put me down.” I contested.

  “Oh, sorry.” Ra lowered me down.

  Once he had been sure I had a solid footing, he fumbled around in his pocket. I hadn’t had the chance to see what he removed from his pocket when Ra took to one knee, holding a simple silver band between his thumb and forefinger.

  “Etta, you told me once, the souls who met here on Earth were not the same ones who married in Heaven, and the Abihail I married and the Rahovart you married, no longer existed. Well, I can tell you the two beings that had that conversation no longer exist either. Instead, two different and yet better beings have taken their place. I’m ready to start our new life together if you’ll have me. Etta Marilyn Divad the Wraith, will you marry me, Rahovart the Demon?”

  “Absolutely, positively, hands down, without a doubt, yes, I will marry Rahovart the Demon.” I giggled.

  “Hope you don’t mind silver.” Ra jumped up, sliding the ring onto my finger.

  “It’s perfect.” I snickered, kissing Ra.

  “Are we doing another wedding? We got the stuff already set up, and everyone’s here.” my dad hollered over the whooping crowd.

  “Let’s do it.” I exclaimed, jerking Ra toward the archway.

  The ceremony had been short, simple, and to the point. Speaking from our hearts, we needed no prewritten vows. After our ‘I do’s’ we were sealed to our children. Until time ceased, we would be a family. Once the ceremony ended, everyone picked up in celebration. Amy and Gabriel had their first dance to some ska, punk jam. As we sat watching Amy and Gabriel during their moment, a thought dawned on me.

  “We didn’t kiss!”

  “What?” Ra asked in confusion at my outburst.

  “After the ceremony we didn’t kiss.” I exclaimed.

  “I know. Be patient. We will.” Ra squeezed my hand.

  I expected our turn to dance to be next, but the party had been interrupted by Amy’s parents. With all the excitement the hours flew by, and they needed to leave to catch their plane back home. As Amy and Gabriel walked them to the back gate, Ra jumped up to the radio. Grabbing a CD from the bottom of the stack, he extracted the disc and placed it in the player.

  “Now, I can dance with my wife.” Ra smiled as he sloughed off his illusion. Following his lead, everyone returned to their usual form, including myself and the kids. Meeting Ra in the middle of the yard, I draped my arms around his neck as his slid his around my waist.

  “Hit it!” Ra called out. We danced to a Phillip Phillips hit. The words resonated with our new life. Though we were heading into the unknown, I looked to the future; not with fear but with anticipation. I didn’t need to be scared of Demons anymore. I no longer needed to sleep with one eye open or chase a handful of pills with a Pepsi. I would never have to face life’s troubles alone. Ra would always be by my side. He would fight to the death for me and the kids.

  “So, what’s next for us?” I asked as we swayed from side to side.

  “Well, I’ve been thinking about it and with us being married now, maybe we should consummate the relationship.” Ra winked.

  “Still the deviant pervert.” I laughed.

  “Well, how else do you expect us to add to the brood?”

  “You mean?” I raised my eyebrow.

  “I’ve always wanted a large family. I can see a good three or more running around.” leaning over, Ra pressed his lips against mine.

  As our skin made contact an explosion erupted. Blue and gold flames skyrocketed and crackled around the property.

  “What’s happening?” I asked, terrified, snuggling into Ra for protection.

  “My territory has been set. I am home.” Ra lifted my chin, staring deep into my eyes.

  “We are home.” I added and returned my lips to his.

  Chapter Fifteen Lilith

  Darkness settled in as Lucifer’s blade sliced through me. The transition from the scorching, arid Hell to a frigid desert had been painful. I had attempted to take inventory of the damage I might have suffered, but the sucking black void hid all traces of my body. Unable to see my hand before my face, I scanned the area for any signs of the slightest light. There had been none. On the outskirts of existence, I drew a deep, long breath, awaiting my resurrection.

  A sudden surge illuminated the desolate horizon. With a strong gravitational force, it drew me towards its warmth, searing me into pieces of ash. Entering the luminous hole, a vortex spun me violently around until my figu
re came back together in my throne room. Gasping for air, I fell to my baby seal rug.

  “Welcome back, Lilith.” A familiar voice cooed through the ringing of my ears.

  Bewildered, I glanced over my shoulder to see who had spoken out. Three tall, slender figures stood there. Despite my vision being blurred to almost blindness, I knew all too well who was in my throne room. Struggling to rise to my feet, I steadied myself on my throne as I pulled myself up. I would not give Father the satisfaction of having me on my knees before him.

  Supposedly the ‘all forgiving’ had ripped everything I loved from me simply because I would not fall to my husband Michael’s feet as if I were some common slave. Lucifer, the one who had convinced me that our worlds need an independent woman as a role model for the younger generation, sat as my prosecutor during my Tribunal. With his charismatic silver tongue, the jury of my peers deemed me guilty.

  As punishment for my lack of submission, my place beside my children had been stripped from me. When I protested the severity of my life sentence to the Wastelands, my angelic form had been taken away and replaced with the appearance of the most despised creature; a rat. In further protest to His judgment, I tore my wings from my back before His gang of Arches had the chance. Greatly wronged, my soul split into four pieces as my feathers hit the ground.

  What should have ended me only made me that much stronger; stronger than Father. In my new found glory as a Wraith I learned that the so-called ‘creator of all things great and righteous’ had been nothing more than a circus sideshow act. Not worth paying the quarter to see his false magic. I simply had to choose the right venue to reveal Him for his true nature.

  “Hello, Father.” I snarled, ignoring his beloved Son and Spirit standing beside him.

  “I see you have returned intact, attitude and all.” Father replied.

  “If you were hoping I’d come back crawling on hands and knees with gratitude for resurrecting me, then you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”